My Running has Become a Millennial

Some of y'all know this and some of y'all don't.......So let me clear my throat!  I'm feeling a bit like DJ Kool right now! haha!

  

 

You millennials won't get that reference.  No honestly, I need to clear my throat.  Probably several times as I write this.  This isn't gonna be a fun one to write. 

Last Saturday, I walked to the start line of the Indianapolis Monumental Marathon.  My training leading up to the race had been good, not great.  I struggled through the summer heat and had a couple of bad, shorter races.  That said, I felt in the past month I had built a good bit of both fitness and confidence.  I was as prepared physically as I've ever been for a race.  It was an absolutely perfect weather day for racing.  A day like I haven't seen since 2013 in Chicago.  

The gun goes off, I run a slow'ish first mile and then find a groove.  I don't feel as though I'm working hard at all, 7:11, 6:54, 6:46, 6:45.  I'm chatting with Kevin, who happens to be right behind me pacing the 3:05 group.  .....and all of a sudden the thought runs through my head that I'm not doing this today.  A mile later, still on pace, I look for Tricia and decide that if I see her, I'm quitting. Where the heck is she?  What the hell?  I keep running, another good mile and then BAM!  I'm on the side of the street..........Done.  I quit!  I turn and wave at Kevin, tell him to have a good race and to keep it up.  What kind of freaking hypocrite am I???  7 miles in and I'm standing there as a spectator.  Margaret Jones runs by......"Hagan, you ok?"  Yep, I'm good.  I ask a spectator to borrow a phone to text Tricia to tell her I'm done and begin walking back to the hotel. 

I've spent the last 4-5 days beating myself up over this.  What has happened to me as a runner?  When it comes to running, I've become a millennial.  There's an excuse, with a plausible argument, for every run that goes bad.  As a runner, I've become what, as a person, I despise.  I've become the guy that will take all the credit when things go great, but if it's a tough day, it ain't my fault. I've stopped owning responsibility for my own failures.  Something else is the problem.  The heat and humidity......the remodel of my house...........I didn't sleep well.........I just don't want to be here. 

As a point of self-reflection, it's important to me to try to identify where this slide started.  Amazingly enough, I think it all started following the most successful day of my running life.  October 10, 2013.  Chicago Marathon.  I run my marathon PR by 19 minutes and qualify for Boston the first time.  As I was running today, I started chronicling the excuses I've used for my performances.......here's a sampling.

• 2013 - Rocket City Marathon (DNS) - Raining, This was my 'B' race, I already qualified for Boston
• 2014 - New York - Cold, 25-40 MPH winds (this one might actually be legit), logistics suck
• 2015 - Naples Half-Marathon - Too hot to race hard
• 2015 - Boston - Cold, rainy, windy
• 2015 - Franklin Classic - Stomach issues (I ate Hot Chicken 2 days before), Hot.
• 2016 - Boston - HOT (It was 60 degrees.  That ain't hot!!)
• 2016 - Watertown Half - Humid, it's a training run, I don't want to be doing this
• 2016 - Indianapolis (DNF) - My summer training was terrible, I've got no confidence, I don't want to be here. 

It goes beyond just race day.  It goes to the daily runs as well.  When doing interval work, if I'm running faster than pace, great!!  When it starts to hurt, rather than miss my pace, I'll stop to catch my breath.  On hot days this past summer, I'd slow down when approaching a traffic light hoping it would change to keep me from crossing just so I could stop.  Or, even if I could cross, would stop anyway just because I wasn't feeling it.   The long run..........pshhhh!  I bailed out more this summer than Free At Last Bail Bonds.  Do I get the same number of miles as I would if I executed the way I should, yes.  What I miss though is the confidence to know that I can push through when things get tough.

So, how the heck do I get out of this horrible habit and start owning my success AND failures?  Andy Grove, the former CEO of Intel, said "Success breeds complacency.  Complacency breeds failure.  Only the paranoid survive."  I've said before that I've gotten complacent with my running.  I've achieved things that most won't dare attempt.  I'd say that even among runners, I've achieved a state of 'accomplished' as an age-group athlete.  Heck, on a good day this past summer, I actually won a small 5k in my hometown.  And, for what its worth, there were no excuses on that day.  What I had not considered until reading his quote is that my complacency has bred my failure. 

For me, getting out of this habit begins with a reminder about why I started running and then clearly identifying my goals.  I must be brutally honest with myself about how committed I am to achieving those goals.  

I started running because I was eating poorly & drinking too much, I was over-weight, and life, as I know it now, was running away without me (no pun intended).  I decided to do "something absolutely ridiculous to get into shape." I'll never forget the day I registered for my first marathon and the feeling of 'What did I just do???"  The feeling of excitement that followed for the monumental challenge of a marathon.  Nor will I ever forget the first thought that went through my head when I crossed the finish line.  "I CAN DO THAT FASTER!!!!"

My goals today are a lot different than they were when I started running.  Today, there are basically two goals.  The first is to always be in good enough shape that I can run a half-marathon tomorrow.  Not necessarily for a great time, but that I can actually do it.  The second is to be able to run Boston any year that I want.  This goal........uhhh, it requires WORK!  It requires that I find a way to mature as a runner and accept responsibility and ownership for both my successes and failures.  It requires that I remember or re-learn how to push through when things get tough. 

How committed am I to these goals?  Its a good thing I'm answering this today.  Last Saturday, I was finished with running for a month or two, and was seriously evaluating if I wanted to even make the trip to Boston in April.  Those who know me best, know that when I experience a failure, there's usually a 'Redemption Race'.  After I finished beating myself up for a 4-5 days, I registered for that Redemption Race.  In a month, I'll toe the line again in Huntsville at the Rocket City Marathon.  Ironic it's the first in the list of the 'excuse' races.    I hope I'm able to find the determination I took with me to the start line in Chicago in 2013.  I hope that I'm able to work my way out of this excuse making habit.

 

I sent to my coach a screenshot of my race registration confirmation.  He asked if I was getting a bit of the fire back.  My response was a resounding yes, in very clear, direct and explicit terms!  I'm a grown-ass man and need to start acting like it.  Especially when it comes to doing something I love. 

I don't know if anyone will read this or not, but let's assume for a minute that all my friends do......I need everyone to hold me accountable to this.  Do not coddle me.  Call me out on my BS!  The excuse making guy is not me and it's darn sure no who I want to be.  

I am responsible for and own the effort that I put into every workout.
I am responsible for and own the success AND the failure of those workouts.

I am responsible for and own the effort I put forth on race day!
If I do all these well, the results will take care of themselves.  

Let's hope the next time I write, we're talking about successes again. 

Walking away from 2013......

It is here!!!  The end of another amazing year.  Full of new experiences and life changing decisions, 2013 has been all I expected and in some cases even more.  At the end of 2012, while on a flight to the Dominican Republic and reading the latest issue of Runner's World, I started writing down some of my 2012 accomplishments and once I finished, I wrote down some high-level 2013 goals.  I held onto that Runner's World and a few weeks back found it while looking for something else and took a few minutes to assess how I had done with those goals.  

The 5K
Shortly after deciding to run my first marathon in 2009, I ran a 5K as a fun run just to experience that 'race' feeling again.  That day I ran a 25:26.  A month later, I ran another at 25:15.  As a new 'runner' (if that's what you would call it), I was tickled to death with these results.  In both 2011 and 2012, I focused on running the marathon and ran a total of three 5K's.  In two of those three races I was beaten by 15 seconds by Jim Schwan.  Jim is a good friend but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let him continue to beat me.  I decided I needed to commit to running the 5K more often so that on Thanksgiving Day of 2013 I didn't finish 15 seconds behind Jim again.  So, goal #1 was to run a 5K per month for the year.  This got a little tough during the summer of crazy mileage marathon training, but I pulled it off!!!  And, I didn't finish behind Jim on Thanksgiving Day because he never made it to the start line. (He completed the Flying Monkey Marathon 4 days earlier).  GOAL #1 - CHECK

Goal #2a was also a 5K related goal.  Since that initial 25+ minute time, I had reached a point where I was consistently just above 21:00.  In my mind, this is pretty good for a 5K, but I really wanted to break that 21:00 barrier and with 12 chances to do it this year, it had to be possible, right?  In March I ran the Mt. Juliet Middle School 5K on a snowy Saturday morning.  I was very surprised by the number of people that showed up for this race considering the snow that was coming down.  The cold air must be the trick.  20:59.  Good for 3rd place overall that day.  GOAL #2a - CHECK.   So, considering this was the 2nd day of March, I felt the need to add another goal.  Let's break 20:30.  Why not right?  I really didn't think this was possible, but the week prior to the Chicago Marathon, I ran the Shelby Bottoms Boogie and crushed a 19:40.  WHAT???  Yeah, I looked at it twice too!  GOAL #2b - CHECK  (I've raised the bar awfully high here, so there will not be a 5K goal for 2014.)

The Half-Marathon
Toward the end of 2012 I ran the Music City Marathon and posted a very respectable 1:36 time.  In my 'overly aggressive' goal writing, I decided that I wanted to break 1:30 for the half-marathon.  This one gets carried over to 2014 simply because there wasn't enough time for me to schedule a half-marathon. I feel really confident that I can do this considering I ran a 1:32 front half during the Chicago Marathon.  This one should be easy pickens' for 2014.

The Marathon
When writing down my goals, I was three weeks removed from a 3 minute PR (3:29), which was preceded a 14 minute PR (3:32) from September.  I seriously wondered if there was any improvement left in my body.  I mean, I'm not 22 anymore, right?  (I'm really only 27, but don't tell anyone!  Shhhh!!!)  I guess though, without a goal, or something to shoot for, one will never know.  On the cover of that Runner's World, I wrote down "Sub-3:20 Marathon".  That would amount to another 9 minute plus PR.  In previous marathon attempts, I've seen big number improvements like that (13:00, 16:00, 9:00, 14:00), but as you get a bit faster, the amount of time that comes off becomes more difficult.  In my mind 9 minutes at sub-3:30 is twice as hard as 16 minutes at 4:30.  I may be wrong, but that's just the way I see it.  In February I got into the Bank of American Chicago Marathon and it was ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!!  Hahaha!  Or whatever the cool kids say these days!  I'll spare you the race recap as you can read it here in an earlier post, but with a 3:10 on Marathon Sunday, I not only crushed the sub-3:20 goal, I destroyed it and qualified for Boston in the process.  GOAL #4 - CHECK (DESTROYED!!!) 

Goal #5
During 2012, I ran 1623 miles.  A number that I looked at almost in disbelief.  At the same time, I wondered if I could possible get to 2,000 miles.  I was planning some significant changes to my training that I knew would add mileage and if I stayed healthy, I could surely get close, right?  On Saturday, December 7th, I surpassed the 2,000 mile mark.  With more than 20 days left in the year I would say that I crushed this goal as well.  GOAL #5 - CHECK

Walking Away.......
As I started planning how to get to the marathon goal of sub-3:20, I wanted to make sure that I had more than one chance at this during the year.  Getting in two marathons during a fall racing season is a challenge, both physically and mentally.  After having such an incredible race in Chicago, mentally I don't think I ever 'checked back in' to my training.  I completed the each of the runs and went through the motions, but never got to that determined point of focus needed for me during marathon training.  Physically, I was a little nicked up as well.  All of the miles and the hard workouts for the past 6 months were starting to hurt.  Pain that was tolerable, but ever-present.  I knew that I needed time off and that certainly didn't help my mental state.  On 12/14 I was to run the Rocket City Marathon in Huntsville, AL.  I had run this race last December and knew the course was one that I could post a good time.

Saturday morning the rain started pouring about 3 a.m.  At 6:00 when I got up for coffee and breakfast, still pouring.  At this point physically I'm still in for the start.  Mentally I checked out months ago! At 7:00 still pouring as I start putting on my running gear.  7:15 while looking out the window of my hotel room, I see that the empty lot across the street looks more like a lake than it does anything else.  I decided at that point that mentally I was not prepared for 26.2 miles on that day.  I sent a simple text message to Nate that read "I'm out! Heading back to bed."  30 minutes later we were both walking away from the start line looking toward the next year of running, the next race and the next goal to fall on the list.  I found myself 'justifying' my decision throughout the day before finally coming to peace with it.  Knowing deep down that the marathon is something that I expect to be able to give my best effort and anything less can be a greater disappointment.  

So, as I walk away from 2013, and prepare to run into 2014, I am incredibly thankful for the health that I have and the ability to even try these things.  I'm also very thankful for the incredible experience of 2013.  I'm extremely thankful for the friends and peers that I've met through running.  Most of them inspire me in one way or another to be better at what I'm doing.   Others of them teach me how to be better.  And all of them, and I mean all of them, will gladly talk your ear off about running!   

Merry Christmas (Yes, Christmas! You know, immaculate conception, the manger, wise men, 'franken-scent' and baby Jesus) and Happy New Year to you all.    

Mama said EAT!!! - A Chicago Marathon Race Recap

I've tried for more than a week since race day to gather my thoughts, bask in the glow of a BQ, and attempt to write something that even the non-runner can comprehend. I'm still going to bask in this glow of a BQ for the next year+ while I wait to get to run Boston on a Monday in April of 2015. I think the smile in the photo above has become permanent and I still don't fully believe what took place 10 days ago.  

In October of 2009, I ran my first marathon.  It was my attempt at, as I say often, "getting into ridiculous shape" and making some significant changes in my life.  That day, I ran a 4:29:36 and was absolutely tickled to death, but when I crossed the finish line, I knew that I could do it faster and I set out to prove it.  It seems like decades ago that I started this process and writing it down makes me realize just how quick of a process this has been.  

So, how did this all shake out?  You wouldn't believe it if I told you!  Heck, I don't even completely believe it! But here goes.  

Friday
I flew to Chicago from Nashville on Friday afternoon.  I received a text message from Bree Roy (who also qualified for Boston in this race) telling me to get to the airport early as the security line was long and, she and Eric had missed their earlier flight because of it.  I got to the airport in plenty of time, the security line was normal for Nashville and proceeded through with no problems and the flight was on-time.  The plan all along was to get checked in to the hotel and then make my way to the Expo on Friday afternoon rather than waiting till Saturday.  Everything worked perfectly.  Upon arriving to the expo, I expected to deal with long lines, but to my pleasure, I walked right up, got my bib and made my way through the expo.  Again, everything worked perfectly.  By doing this, I free up my Saturday almost completely.  

Saturday
The goal was to sleep late, but that didn't exactly work.  I was up by 8:30 or so and knew that I needed to get in a short run.  The sooner the better.  From my hotel, the Navy Pier appeared to be just over a mile by looking at a map and it was a straight shot (so I didn't get lost), so that's the direction I headed.  Nice and easy, getting stopped at almost every traffic light, my Garmin ticked off a mile just before getting to the Navy Pier.  I decided to keep going to 1.5 and as I got onto the pier, I decided to ramp up the speed for a quarter mile or so.  Wow, this felt so stinking good!  I felt fast, lite and strong. At 1.5 miles, I turned back toward the hotel and took it easy, getting caught at a couple less traffic lights, and returning to the hotel in just over 23 minutes.

Back to the traffic lights for a second.  How do people that live in massive cities get in quality, long, consistent runs without getting stopped at traffic lights every other block?

The rest of the day was mine to do with as I pleased.  The hope was to be in bed by 9:00 p.m., so whatever I wanted to do, I needed to get started.  After a shower, Jennifer and I walked from the hotel to the start line.  The idea was to see how long it would take me to get there should it be necessary that I walk the next morning.  I think all of the marathoners that were not at the expo on Saturday were on the streets of Chicago.  The city had a buzz about it and everyone seemed to be there for the same reason. The start line and most everything around it was barricaded.  We could get close enough to visualize the enormity of the event that would be taking place the next morning.  We walked from the start line, to the finish line, and to the only real hill on the course, just before mile 26 on Roosevelt Blvd., between Michigan Avenue and Columbus Drive.  

From there I wanted to go to NikeTown to see what marathon related gear they had that wasn't at the expo.  I was specifically after a marathon related Visor.  This is my 'collector's item' from most races, but it seems a lot of races don't do visors, but rather the runner's hat, which, in my opinion, suck!  Found my visor!  Still everything going perfectly.  Lunch next, then a nap....or Cardinal's Baseball!  This was game two of the NLCS and needless to say, there was no nap.  WACHA, WACHA!!!  CARDS WIN 1-0.  Still........perfectly.  

Now, dinner!  I'm not a firm believer in the traditional carb loading dinner of the runner.  In fact, most of my reading and work with my nutritionist suggests that carb loading at dinner may be a bit late for carbs.  For a late lunch, I had an enormous bowl of spaghetti and dang that stuff was good.  My pre-long run meal has been the same since I started this process.  Filet Mignon, baked potato, mac n' cheese.  Fleming's was right around the corner and we were able to get in early and right to a table.  Again, perfectly.....and in bed by 9:00.  Of course, sleep is something completely different.  Wide awake at 1 a.m. when I decided to take a shower that didn't help at all.  I think I slept about 3 hours.  Plenty to run a marathon, right??  haha!  Let's find out.

Sunday
Race Day!!!! CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!  Finally.  I've worked all summer for this race and a chance to improve on what I did last December.  I told people leading up to race day that if I had a bad day, I would come home with a new PR and if I had a good day, I would qualify for Boston.  

4:45 - Awake and heading downstairs at the hotel for coffee and something to eat. 
5:30 - Bathroom.  Coffee worked like a charm! :)
5:45 - Dressed and ready to walk to the train station 2 blocks away.  On the walk, ran into Ashley Evans (1st marathon and BQ) and her mother, who were walking to the start line.  Told them how far the walk was and convinced them to ride the train.  I'll take credit for Ashley's 2:48 marathon as I saved her legs for the run and not that walk to the start line!  LOL!!!  Completely joking because she's an incredible runner.  Maybe I can take credit for 15 seconds of that... ;)  Train to the closest stop and I'm there by 6:20 and all part of the plan.  With the changes to security as a result of the Boston Marathon incident, no one knew what to expect and I wasn't going to chance showing up later than necessary and not getting to my corral.  Made it in with almost no hassle and was able to hit the porta-potty, twice.  Damn coffee!  
7:15 - The Wheelchair athletes roll to the start line.  My corral starts cheering each of them.  Cold chills follow.
7:20 - Wheelchair start.
7:27 - National Anthem - As the anthem starts, the microphone start to cut out.  A few lines into it people in the corrals start singing.  Now it seems we have 40,000 National Anthem singers.  More cold chills and again everything going perfectly.  
7:30 - Gun goes off and it's ON!!!! Cold chills until I started moving and got to a slow trot.  The interesting part about this marathon is that the first 5 corrals required a previous marathon/half-marathon time to get into.  Meaning, everyone around me was equally as fast, or faster.  This was dangerous because when they start moving, they don't dilly-dally around and I'm just the guy that would get sucked in and go out way too fast........and I did.  First mile in the 6:50s, first 5K in the 6:50s and I'm feeling very, very good. As we finish the first 5k, we are heading out of the city and into Lincoln Park and some sort of farm.  I thought I had gotten lost and ended up in the corn fields of Illinois.  Who knew there was a farm in the middle of the city of Chicago??? Not me!

Ok, back to racing.......next 5K at 7:01. About this time I realize that I'm approaching Wrigleyville.  Yep, home of the Cubs.  I start looking around for any signs of baseball life and there are none.  I realize that its October and that the city of Chicago typically moves on from baseball about mid-June (obligatory Cubs fan jab!).  Oh well, back to running.  Next 5K at 7:02.  I looked at my watch at when I heard mile 8 click.  I think it was 55-56 minutes.  My goal was to be at 8 miles every hour.  I was ahead of pace and still felt good, but this was fast...way fast for me, or so I thought.    

Next 5K, 7:04.  Almost half way and back to the city.  Beginning to wonder how long I can keep this up.  Do I slow down and take it cautiously or do I go for whatever  this has to offer.  Yep, going for it!  Keep it up.  I'm right behind the 3:05 pace group and running very comfortably.  Dreams don't come without risks!

Halfway and I post a 1:32 flat.  4 minutes faster than my previous half-marathon PR.  

Mile 16 at 1:53 and way ahead.  

Mile 17 in 2:00.  Still feeling good and chugging back toward downtown Chicago. I know that I've got my BQ now as I'm still right on the 3:05 group.  Now, how much can I get.  How low can I go?  Let's find out!!! 

Mile 20 and the last bit of gel to push me toward the finish line.  Water stop just caught me off-guard.  I've got a mouthful of gel and I know that the next water stop is a mile away.  I've got to stop and get water.  1st cup has just a splash in it, need more.  Walked to get another one.  I've lost 15-20 seconds here and maybe more importantly, a bit of momentum.  I've fallen off the 3:05 group and lost sight.  DANG IT!!!!

Mile 22 and I'm starting to hurt a bit.  Still turning out 7:20 miles, but can feel myself slowing a bit.  Feet are hurting, quads are crushed and my calves feel like they could seize up at any moment.  I begin to remind myself that these miles are the reason that I did 80 mile weeks and 44 mile weekends.  So that I can be a bully through these miles.  So that mentally I can be tough in these spots. I think about stopping but my will says to push harder.  I see people dropping off to the side and stopping because of cramps as I drive by as hard as I can.  Someone yells "Way to go Hagan!!!" or something like that.  I was in a daze and look over to see Eric Block.  What a pleasant sight. "What's up E?"  And I'm gone!

Mile 23 brings me to Michigan Ave.  I know what's left and must keep pushing.  A guy carrying the 3:10 sign runs up beside me.  No way he's pulling away from me.   Can't believe that I'm now roughly 5 minutes off the 3:05 group.  Did I lose that much momentum because of crappy timing with a gel and water stop?  Or, am I just hurting and beginning to slow that much.  Either way, this joker is not getting away from me.  I know what's left, does he? 

Mile 24 and I'm tightening even more.  This doesn't feel good at all.  Can I hang on?  Doubt begins to enter my mind.  Dangerous.  Not cool.  I remind myself of 80 miles weeks and that I'm a freaking bully out here!  

Mile 25 feels like it's 95 degrees on a mid-August day.  Where'd that sun come from?  Where's that cool breeze that I felt when I was near U.S. Cellular Field?  Oh wait, that was the sucking wind from the White Sox!  LOL!!!  About a quarter mile in I see the massive big screen monitor at the end of Michigan Ave.  That's where I turn to hit the hill.  I've got this.  I'm on a 3:10:00.  Holy CRAP!!!!  Am I really doing this?  I try to pick up the pace but picking up my legs is a huge chore.  Big screen getting closer.  Guy in front of me looks like a very legit runner.  I've had him in sight now for a mile or so.  We approach the turn and he pulls off to the side and grabs his calf.  Oh crap!!!  If he goes down, what's going to happen to me???  I refocus.  Hill ahead.  Hope he makes it but I don't have time for him.  The hill........I own this.  I train in Nashville and don't avoid the hills.  I pass 6-10 people as I climb.  I make the turn and there it is!  My Christmas present......the Finish Line. 

FINISH
I think the look on my face in the photo above says enough.  Either finish this or die trying.  The 'die trying' might be likely.  I've just passed the 26 mile marker.  385 yards to go.  Spectators line the finish chute.  Bleachers full of people and they roar.  At this point, that's all I hear and drive toward the finish line.  I make it and stop my Garmin.  Garmin says 3:10:18 and I finally get my legs to stop moving.  I hurt so freaking good that I let out one the most primal yells ever.  I DID IT!!!!  And the tears begin to flow.  People look at me like I need medical help, asking if I'm OK.  I respond with "I"m amazing, I'm heading to Boston!!!"  The smiles that I get back reinforce the feelings that race through me.  

The finish line chute seems to carry on forever and mostly empty.  I realize that there are only about 2,000 runners that have made it there.  I'm ahead of the masses that will soon experience similar feelings as they cross the finish line.  WOW, this is a different feeling.  Where is everyone?  Oh well, keep moving, medal, keep walking, picture 1, picture 2, picture 3, banana, Gatorade, keep walking, picture 4, more tears, keep walking.  

3:10:17 is what appears to be my finishing time.  Wow, 4:43 faster than I needed to qualify for Boston.  Never once did I believe that I could go this fast.  The day before the race I said that if I could run an average 7:15 per mile pace, that would give me a 3:10:00, and then I shrugged it off as not even possible.  Well, I nailed it!!!  BAM!!!!!  I was a bully those last few miles and I punched this marathon right in the freaking mouth!  haha!!!  Although, considering how sore I was for the next few days, I think it may have won the fight.  I just got in a few good punches!!!

When I got to my phone, I had 30+ text messages and more than 35 Facebook notifications.  I hope that I was able to respond to all of them in an appropriate way.  I thank all of those who sent messages of encouragement and congratulations.  This is something that 4 years ago I never even thought of and was tickled to death just to finish a marathon.    

After a walk back to the hotel and a shower, it was time to eat.  Mom, being a mom, is worried because I'm too 'skinny' and I 'look sick'.  I told her in the days leading up to the race that regardless of how I ran that day, I was going to crush some Chicago-style deep dish pizza after it was over.  Seems everyone else in the city had the same plan.  30+ minute wait, while standing.  Get me a straight Coca-Cola, on the rocks!  Medium, Sausage, Pepperoni pizza for me.  What's everyone else having???  Mama said EAT!!!  And I was taught to do what mama says! (well most of the time anyway!)

After pizza, back to the hotel to relax.  More emails, text messages and Facebook messages.  Wow, this is overwhelming.  I had no idea that so many people were pulling for me.  During this time I was trading text messages with my oldest niece, Kinsley.  She's such an awesome kid and was keeping track of me throughout the morning.  I tried to explain to her what this meant to a runner.  Told her that Boston is like the Super Bowl of running.  She told me that I was "the best runner!!!" and that she loves me.  More tears even though I know that I'm simply the "best runner she knows"!  I love you too Kins!

2 hours later a message from Eric and Bree.  Let's meet up and celebrate just a bit.  More food!  Yes, still starving after crushing that pizza, and hey, mama said to eat!! ;)  

Everything that I needed to go right for a great race did.  Flights on time, expo early, easy Saturday, start-line early and coffee did it's job.  50 degrees at start time with a slight breeze.  Perfect day for racing!  An even more perfect day from start to finish.  I saw a quote from someone the week before my race that stated "The harder you work, the luckier you get."  I got really lucky on this day but hopefully it's because I worked so hard to get here.  

This has been an incredible ride!!!  I've learned that dreams do come true and that I'm solely responsible for making sure that MY dreams come true!  CHECK!  This dream just came true!

11 days till Christmas???

I'm reminded daily of what it's like to be a kid waiting for Christmas!

11 more days of this tapering mess and then I GET to run 26.2 miles and try to do it faster than I ever have before.  

The marathon itself is much more of a mental struggle than it is physical.  I never actually believed this until I first attempted it.  Sure, it is a physical battle and you must prepare, but the mind, wow, it is absolutely the most powerful muscle in the body!  This taper thing is strictly mental training!!!  While the body is recovering from the 80 mile weeks, the mind is stressed because you want to run and, per tapering rules, can't run nearly as much as you want or feel you should be.  Not that I want to be injured, or wish that on anyone, but I think an injury is easier to deal with than a taper.  UGH!!!

Another good week of training in the books.  50+ miles and I felt like a complete slacker because I didn't do more.  

Monday started the week with a speed work session of hill repeats.  I've actually come to love this workout.  I know that when it's finished, I've improved.  2 Mi. WU, 7 x Hills, 2 Mi. CD for a total of 8 miles.  I've also noticed over the summer that my warm-up and cool-down miles have gotten progressively faster.  This is extremely encouraging for what is to come.  

Tuesday - 6 Miles
I'm trying to approach this taper unlike previous marathons.  My goal is to push the pace on every run that I do.  Regardless of how many miles these days call for, I want to be gassed at the end of every single one of them.  I'm also learning how to gradually ramp up the speed.  This one started right around 8:00 per mile and finished close to 7:00 per mile.  Now, for some of you, that's a bit slow.  For me, that's getting after it and fortunately, I wasn't gassed when I finished but rather ready to run.  Tapering sucks!  

Wednesday - 6 Miles
A couple of years ago I responded to a Facebook request from a friend regarding an opening on a Ragnar Team for later that week.  I had no idea what I was getting into, but jumped at the chance.  Turns out the bulk of this team ran regularly with the East Nasty running club.  I had always done all of my training on my own, had never run or trained with a group and didn't know what to expect.  Since then, this group has become a regular part of my training.  Being surrounded by like-minded people help confirm that I'm not the only one doing this and that I'm at least moderately sane for attempting some of this stuff.  Being surrounded by people that are faster than me pushes the competitive side of me to run harder, faster and to not be outran by.  On this particular night, I went out with the 'Fasty Nasties'.  These guys/gals are the people that make it look effortless, as if they are gliding or floating.  These are the people that win all the local races and compete in the national races.  The people who, if they run the marathon, simply show up and qualify for Boston.  I clearly did not fit in, but I pushed myself beyond my comfort zone and kept up for more than half of the 4 mile run. I've got a lot to learn and a long way to go to keep up with these guys/gals, but I'm closer today than I've ever been.   

Thursday - OFF DAY
These days freaking stink right now.  I'm not running enough to deserve a scheduled off day.  Tapering sucks!

Friday - 8 Mi. 
The weather is starting to round into form for a nice fall marathon.  This day was a bit warm when I started, but the humidity was very low.  I returned to my very familiar Stones River Greenway, hills and all.  This is my 'home' track.  Something I've never done during training is shy away from hills, in either long or short runs.  I firmly believe this makes me a better runner.  Gravity is both amazing and sucks, all depending on which side of the hill you are on, and the quicker you get to the top of the hill, the quicker you get to take advantage of the amazing side of gravity.  Knowing this track allows me to be strategically aggressive and vary that strategy from day to day, depending on how I feel or even if I want to try out something different. 

Saturday - 15 Mi.
This would be the last of the early morning long runs.  4:30 a.m. I despise you!  Anyone that knows me knows that I hate morning and hate getting out of bed!  I would rather sleep till noon and work until 10 p.m. than carry regular office hours.  I'd rather run in the evening heat of the summer rather than the cool of the morning.  Regardless, this summer, I've gotten up at 4:30 a.m. every single Saturday to get my long run done.  This has served two purposes.  One, to beat the heat of the summer on my long run, although, this summer was very mild in comparison to last year.  There's nothing worse that 20 miles in 90 degree heat.  And two, to open up the rest of the day for 'Lake Time'!  Last long run complete.  

Sunday - 8 Mi. 
The past 16 weeks, these runs have been about survival.  This one turned into a rather speedy 7:30 pace run.  I really like how my body is responding to these faster runs.  I feel a bit sluggish early on, but after a mile or so, it's time to drop the hammer and go!  

I feel like a kid in the days before Christmas.  Constantly wondering if Santa is going to show and what will be waiting for me under the tree when I wake up, if anything.  5 days ago, I started looking at the 10 day forecast for something that was 16 days away.  I know, silly.  I looked at it while I was at lunch today too, still 11 days out!  If you were wondering, there's a 60% chance of rain in Chicago on Friday, October 11th.  Nervous energy and excitement abound and many sleepless hours during the night because of it.  I think tapering really is like a kid waiting for Christmas!  

Taper Time

The last week of very intense training is now complete.  20 days remain until the gun goes off at the start line of the Bank of America Chicago Marathon.  Today, while doing an 11 mile 'survival run', my mind stayed occupied with thoughts about my training and whether or not I had done enough, or if I was ready for this challenge.  The response to all those questions echoed in my head as if it came from a holler in the hills of Kentucky (Yes, I know this sound very well.  Ask my mom!!).  Either that, or my brain was empty enough today to create that echo.  Either way, I hope you get the point.

I ended last week on a very, very high note.  My long run last week was 15 miles and I set out to run it at my BQ pace.  Nailed it.  First time I've ever come close to my marathon goal pace during a long training run.  

Monday - Track Work - 2 Mi. WU, 7 x 1 Mi., 1 Mi. CD

For the first time all summer, I enjoyed a track session.  The weather was absolutely incredible and there was a slight breeze.  My goal was to be consistent at whatever pace that meant.  My 2 Mi. warm-up was slow and I ventured away from the track and onto the green way to get this done.  That's something new for me and I believe that may have helped eliminate some of the monotony of a track session.  Anyway, I nailed the workout with 7 miles averaging something like 6:45.  The last 3 were at 6:50 each.  I believe that I could have posted some faster mile times, but not sure if I could have continued that through the end of the workout.  Consistency achieved and confidence boosted, again. 

Tuesday - Easy 10

Well, this was supposed to be easy following the Monday track session.  And, physically it felt that way.  10 miles at 7:44 pace is, or has been, pretty fast for me.  On this day though, it felt very comfortable.  It feels very good to look down at your watch 8 miles or so into a run and realize you are killing it and barely breathing hard.  Another confidence booster.

Wednesday - 11 Mi.

This turned into a craptastic run!  When talking with non-runners, I get the question all the time, 'Don't you get bored out there?'  Heck yes I get bored and this was a perfect example of that!  Bored to death with the green way path that I run 2 or 3 times a week, I decided to venture off it to 'spice things up'.  Well, that worked going the 5.5 out.  The way back, I found myself bored to the point of walking!  I was chugging along pretty good until mile 9 or so when I just shut things down, walked for a couple of minutes, talked to myself in a very demeaning tone, and tried to find some motivation to finish.  That motivation was that I was still 2 miles from my vehicle.  Sometimes, I'm smarter than I give myself credit.  Multi-loop routes give you 'outs'.  Out and back routes, don't.  You get 5, 7, or 11 miles away from your vehicle, there's only one way to get back. And....the quicker you do it, the quicker it's all over.  Confidence destroyed.  I think I may quit.  Running sucks!

3 days in and 31 miles on the books!  BIG WEEK.

Thursday - Easy 6

Somehow, I was able to quickly put the previous day's craptastic run behind me and go out to enjoy this one.  I told myself to not look at my watch and to acknowledge everyone that I passed.  As a runner, I think we are all guilty of obsessing over the watch.  This day, it was simply a tracking mechanism and would not define my run.  Acknowledging everyone for me is a very simply way to relax and run.  A wave, smile, a 'hello', 'good afternoon', 'cute puppy' or some other comment to another runner, walker or just goofing on the old guy that I passed on his bike while he was climbing a hill.  I told him that he may fly by me when we start down hill, but that I owned him when it came to climbing.  We both got a pretty good laugh out of it.  Really, really needed this run.  

Friday - 11 Mi.

My Friday runs are intended to be faster, near marathon pace runs.  That wasn't happening this week. The legs felt like cement blocks and I didn't need the additional pressure with a 20+ miler coming on Saturday.  So, I took it easy and knocked down 11 at an average 8:00 pace.  I'll take it considering the big week.

Saturday - 20+ Mi.  

My buddy Nate is getting ready for the Rocket City Huntsville Marathon and his training is starting to ramp up pretty good as well.  He and I run together pretty well and it's easy to pass the miles when we could both talk baseball the whole way.  We did a route in Nashville that I call City Loop.  This is a 13 mile loop starting and finishing at LP Field.  To add my extra miles, I would go out toward and into Shelby Park.  When we arrived at 6 a.m., we found that there was some sort of pre-race prep going on and that we'd likely catch the tail end of it.  Either he and I killed the run, or my timing is just horrible!!!  When we came back to LP Field, we found that one of the 'color run' events had just started.  Nate got out of there as quick as he could and I grabbed a Hammer Gel and a water and started out Davidson.  OH H-E-double hockey sticks!  These 'color run' events are not really 'runs' at all.  They are walks and gimmicky walks at that.  (Don't get me wrong, anything that gets people to move is a good thing but I didn't need a traffic jam in the last 9 miles of a long run.)  So, not only was I attempting to run through walkers spread all over the street, I had to avoid the 'color' stations where people were throwing powdered 'paint' or chalk, or the 'spray paint' stations.  UGH!!!!  I finished my last 20 miler and now have a basically new pair of shoes with pink paint on them!!!  Did I mention it was pouring rain when we started???  Started out thinking 22 miles. Very, very content with 20.  

Sunday - 11 Mi. Survival Run

I've quit referring to the day after my long run as a 'Recovery Run'.  These have simply become about survival.    Beautiful day and it seemed as though a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  I ran easy, relaxed and without the stiffness that typically follows a 20 miler.  I ran thinking about this entire summer of training and whether or not it was enough to improve upon my previous personal best marathon time.  Whether my training had given me the strength, endurance and foundation upon which to run that magical BQ.  11 miles at 8:00 pace.  I'll take it and wrap up a very solid run week.  

80 miles on the nose this week.  2nd highest mileage week ever.  Physically, while a bit tender from the week, I feel strong.  Stronger than I have at this point before any previous race.  Mentally, I'm beginning to believe.  Confidence is high and I'm looking forward to the next 3 weeks of shorter runs that I can really try to push the pace.  I know that I have work to do, but I honestly believe that I'm a better runner today than I ever have been and have prepared for success.  

Taper time is here.  For those that don't know, in endurance training, the last 2 to 3 weeks are progressively lighter work weeks to allow the body a chance to heal from all the hard work and let you approach the start line eager and refreshed.  Early on in a training cycle I find myself wishing taper time would hurry up and arrive.  Once it's here, I question my previous work and wonder if I can sneak in an extra couple, or 5, or 10 miles and not hurt myself.  I've learned to trust the taper itself.  I haven't learned to trust the work that I've done over the previous 15 weeks.